Guilt

This post is a little bit of therapy for me. If you start reading and begin to yawn and decide not to read it, I promise my feelings will not be hurt.

I think I've posted a time or two about guilt on my blog before. Ah yes, the whole wanting to be a perfect mother and realizing that I'm not and feeling guilty about my children possibly not turning out perfectly because of me.

That is just the tip of the iceberg.

These are the things I've been feeling guilt about lately:

- Not taking more time to just enjoy my family.

- Having to go back several lessons in Lizette's reading lessons because we pretty much took the entire summer off from that.

- The fact that my time management skills seem to be very poor. Why can I not seem to get anywhere before 10:00?

- I have slept in until almost 7:00 every day lately. Oh, I guess that answer's the last one about time management.

- For not spending more time serving my fellow man. Always on the list.

- I ate Jeff's birthday cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner a couple of days ago. And I ate the last piece for breakfast this morning. Sorry Jeff! (So glad to get that one off my chest!)

- I have not worked out in over a month and have absolutely no desire to start up again.

- For spending too much time blogging. :)

- Not starting up my organizing business/website yet.

- Dreading the fact that the neighbors down the street are going to pull out all of their obnoxious Halloween decorations soon that cover their entire yard and house. I should not be so snobby. They are festive and good for them, but instead I roll my eyes every time I pass their house. I'm a terrible person.

Yes, the list could go on and on. This is just a sampling. I think everyone probably has their list whether short or long.

Lately I just haven't had the energy I would like to have. Getting these headaches figured out is taking some time and I'm not completely myself. Therefore, I cannot go 100 mph trying to be super mom and super everything else. I've had to choose priorities and so a lot of the things I would normally be very motivated to do are on the back burner right now.

Well, I think this is okay.

It's okay to have some down time once in a while and I don't think I should feel guilty. So why do I? I need to take care of myself and my family first, after all. But there is this need to be successful and perfect in all other areas. Is this a woman thing? Does it stem from my childhood? Why must I feel this guilt?!

This weekend is our church's semi-annual general conference. We get the chance to listen to our church leaders speak on a variety of different topics. I think this is going to give me some much needed perspective. I really need it right now!