Ten Years

Today it has been ten years since my mom passed away.

My mom was a little giant. She went through more trials in her life than most people I know, yet she had the strongest faith and really believed that things would always work out...even in the worst of circumstances. She was so kind and gentle, yet tough when she had to be. She made everyone around her feel special and loved. She loved to laugh. She swore when she stubbed her toe and always blamed it on being raised in a logging camp. She would have fought to the death for any one of her children or grandchildren. She loved near beer. She loved church. She had friends from all walks of life and loved them all dearly. She loved to dance in the kitchen when good news came her way. When I wasn't accepted into a girl scout troop in the 4th grade, she held a grudge against the troop leader for the rest of her life. When my high school boyfriend dumped me, she took me shopping that night to get a cute new outfit to wear the next day so that he would regret his decision. I could go on forever about my mom.

I was telling Jeff today that I normally don't get very sentimental on this particular day of the year. It's not this day or her birthday or Christmas that cause me to miss her as much as all of the days in between. It's the days like Lizette's first day of preschool, or moving into our house, or feeling the baby kick non stop for hours, or completely ruining another dinner, or Jeff getting a promotion, or when I completely embarrass myself in front of someone (which happens all too often), or when I wonder why being a mom can be so hard...gosh, I could go on forever.

I loved sharing all of these types of things with my mom. My heart still aches to be able to just call her and talk. In fact, a lot of times, I do talk to her. Yes, I might be a little crazy, but I like to tell her about the events of my life. It makes me feel better. I think she would want it that way.

Wow, ten years...After she first passed away, I really didn't think I could survive. She was my best friend and I missed her so much. I still miss her and think about her every day, but I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought I was. She raised me to be strong and independent, and she definitely wouldn't want me sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

So, life has gone on. I married a wonderful man who is my best friend and whom I know my mom would just love. We are raising our family the best way we know how and she would be proud of that. She would be proud of all of her kids and grand kids and so happy about all of the fun things happening in our lives.

I know that I will get to see her once again when this life ends for me and what a fun reunion that will be. I imagine lots of laughter and tears and lots and lots of hugs.

Mom, I miss you dearly. You will be part of my heart forever and ever. Thank you for raising me the way you did and teaching me how to survive in this tough world.

I love you!
Snickelfritz